“To run away from trouble is a form of cowardice and, while it is true that the suicide braves death, he does it not for some noble object but to escape some ill.”
I no longer believe that death (i.e. suicide) will solve any of the problems you face. I now believe in the concept of self-harm doing more harm to others rather than yourself and blah blah blah.
But sometimes…only sometimes…I hope for death.
The most that I expect to receive afterwards is peace. Which is all that I really desire when it comes down to it.
I am not a dark person by any means. I actually attempt to keep this part of myself hidden from others and those closest to me which I feel is the result of some “social conditioning” that I experienced as a young girl.
I have decided that it is no longer benefiting me to deny these emotions and suppress them. Everybody ponders death at least a million times in their life. And about half of those every-bodies have wondered about suicide in general or have even thought of causing harm to themselves.
I am aware of how much I am loved and the value that I bring to the world.
I love. Very much. Some more than others, of course. But I love people. You get the picture.
Still, I think about it and I don’t think that makes me bizarre, angry, or a “suicidal” person even. It is a completely normal reaction to the world that we inhabit if you ask me.
To sit and reflect on all of the shit that happens around us, will literally drive you into a depression of some sort. Which, ultimately, brings about our good friend: suicidal thoughts.
If you are reading this and are contemplating self-harm, this is your understanding.
I get it. Shit is hard. Life is hard.
But do not allow life to beat you to a bloody pulp. Kick life’s ass right back and get up for round two.
Taking your life, will mean that you are also robbing the life of another. It gets better, I promise.